Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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