we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
