Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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