what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
