well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
