I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
