I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
