I think im going to throw up on grandma
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
