The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
