her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
