last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
