Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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