that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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