Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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