Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize