Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
