Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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