His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
