She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
