He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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