you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
