My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
