Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
