Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
