I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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