I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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