I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
