I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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