Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
