whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
