I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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