Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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