my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
