you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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