is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize