I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
