do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize