so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
vagina is talking i cant
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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