Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
