So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
