dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
