Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
