Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
