why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
