This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
