So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My life is pants optional.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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