Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
