Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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