Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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