D3 body, D1 cock
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
