well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
