apparently the secret to your success is patron
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
