It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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