Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Soap is not a condiment
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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