Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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