So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
