Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
