My hand turned me down
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize