no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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