My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
