you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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