Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
