About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
