yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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